Not showing up
At least have the guts to show up and tell everyone you’re leaving. It’s really not fair to just leave everybody in the lurch. Sure, you get to sleep in and then watch re-runs of Top Gear in your underwear, but if you have a soul, you’ll just feel like Jeremy Clarkson's judging you through the screen, his eyes dripping with the same contempt he normally only shows the producers on his show (and nobody needs to feel judged by Jeremy Clarkson). Besides, you’re really only delaying the inevitable. You might think everyone will get the hint, but it’s going to make that phone call a week later asking where you are and hoping that you’re okay really awkward. Plus, how can you ask them for a reference?
Getting someone else to do it
What are you, an 11 year-old breaking up with her first “boyfriend / girlfriend?” No one’s going to respect you if you have someone else do your dirty work for you. It just makes you look weak. Besides, what kind of person makes someone else deal with that kind of awkwardness? “Oh yeah, Bob said he wouldn’t be in today......or ever.” You’re putting someone else in your boss’s crosshairs. At least send a text like a 16 year old!
Quitting any job is tough and there is not really a good way to do it. There are a number of ways to quit your job, like a resignation cake or a YouTube video. So to avoid looking like a bad guy, try to make sure you don’t do any of these, which are nine of the worst ways to quit your job.
Sure, it might seem liberating, but good luck getting another job once your reputation gets out. Nobody wants to deal with a head-case who’s going to lose their mind the moment you get down and start burning everyone around you. Besides, you totally lose the moral high-ground when you do this and if there’s one thing that everybody knows it’s that the person with the moral high-ground is the one who “wins” in these situations, and you’re no loser, are you?
Okay, so your friends think it’s totally funny that you quit via YouTube video, but, it’s not going to end well. First of all, do you really want a million people to know you couldn’t hack flipping burgers or shuffling papers? Secondly, you leave yourself open to corporate retaliation, and if there’s anything more embarrassing than someone mooning their employers in a YouTube video, it’s that you get clowned by Ronald McDonald in a follow-up YouTube video. Sure, you’ll know how Biggie felt after Tupac released “Hit ‘Em Up” – but just remember how that ended for everybody.
Hurting your co-workers
If there’s one thing you really, really don’t want to do, it’s burn your co-workers on the way out. Sure, you escaped, but just remember, if you don’t do it the right way, one of your ‘brothers in arms’ is going to have pick up the slack (and since you know more than everybody how much the job sucks, why would you do that to someone?). Even if you hate your co-workers, there’s probably at least one poor soul you get along with and you’re torching them along with everybody else. Again, you lose all the high-ground when you do this and you turn a whole office against you, when it should be your bosses who take the heat for you leaving.